God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize