She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
