Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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