she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize