I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I bet he comes in French.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
