just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
