i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
