I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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