Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
