you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
