I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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