do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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