I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
