i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize