Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
