is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
