Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
