a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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