I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
