DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize