She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Pooping to opera.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
