take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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