barbara walters just said penis...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
