I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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