Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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