when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
