this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I still have a little drunk in my system
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
