..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
