i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
