I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
