remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to align my fucking chakras
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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