I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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