I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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