College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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