dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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