i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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