does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
