I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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