i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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