What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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