I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
