3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
