I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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