I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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