btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
