some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
