help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
