I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
