Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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