OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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