Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
