We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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