do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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