just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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