I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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