You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
