Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
