So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
