YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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