idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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