I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize