I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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