if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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