No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
