i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
