i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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