Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
should my penis look like a turkey
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
