I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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