Christians are straight up FREAKS
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
